Book Burning
by Fire-Chan9490
Summary: Team Hebi is stuck in the middle of the woods in a blizzard with no firewood, so they end up burning Karin's book. Written for my English test. Oneshot. Suika. XD First Naruto fic...
1. When Burning Karin's Book

**Book Burning**

**Well then… I wrote this as a dialogue for my English test… I wonder if Mrs. English-Teacher-Whose-Name-I-Shall-Not-Mention understood what the heck was going on, seeing how she has no clue what Naruto is.**

**Disclaimer: I claim no rights to these characters, nor do I claim the rights to ****Firebirds Rising**

**So… the reason they're talking about a book was because one of the requirements was that the dialogue had to mention a novel and a short story. Yeah… First thing I thought of… And "The House on the Planet" belongs to Tanith Lee. And I'm typing this in Science while I'm supposed to be reviewing for my test…**

Karin glared at Suigetsu through frosty lashes, trying not to shudder as the cold wind blew through the trees.

"What?" he snapped, as he noticed her glowering. "It's not _my_ fault we ran out of firewood and had to burn your precious book." Sasuke rolled his eyes at the two of them

"For your information," she snarled back, "that was my favorite and _only_ book, fish-boy."

"Very nice, Four-Eyes, I'm sure. It kept us warm enough, at least."

"Suigetsu, listen to me!" she shrieked. "How would you feel if I burned your sword?"

"You can't," was the infuriating answer. He leaned over the dying fire, trying to distinguish the title of the burning mass of paper. "What was that book, anyways?"

"Firebirds Rising. It's a collection of short stories," she replied sullenly, noticing a warning look from Sasuke.

"Oh?" He leaned backward lazily. "'Firebirds,' huh? Quite fitting, seeing as it went up in smoke." 

All warnings forgotten, she punched him. His head exploded into water and put out the measly fire that was greedily eating the last pages of Karin's poor book.

"Karin!" Sasuke shouted, extremely ticked off. "Now what do we do! Juugo isn't back with the wood and we're in the middle of a blizzard!"

"Aww… Poor Karin. Is Sasuke-kun mad at you?" Suigetsu cooed sarcastically as his head reformed.

"Shut up!" She turned away from him. "Now I can't read 'The House on the Planet' anymore."

"'The House on the Planet'?"

"One of the short stories."

"Oh."

Sasuke sighed and rubbed his temples wearily. Was it possible for those two to be quiet for more than two minutes?

"So, Four-Eyes, have you figured out what to do about the fire yet?"

Apparently not. There was another loud splash as Karin's fist made contact with Suigetsu's face for the second time that night. 

"Can both of you _be quiet_, so I can focus on not dying of hypothermia? We burned my coat too, if you don't remember.

"Oh!" Karin's hand flew to her mouth. "I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun! I forgot…"

"Obviously."

"No sympathy for me, then?" Suigetsu pouted. "We burned mine too, and I'm the one wearing a sleeveless."

"You can freeze to death for all I care, fish-boy."

"What happened to being quiet?" Sasuke asked helplessly as the two began their argument anew. Sighing, he snatched Karin's coat away from her. She froze (A/N: Lol. Froze, get it?) in mid-shout. 

"Sasuke-kun," she whined, "that wasn't nice!"

"I'll give it back when you two shut up. You can keep each other warm until Juugo gets here." He settled down beside a tree and curled up under his new coat. Suigetsu snickered.

"Looks like there's nothing for it, Four-Eyes. We're stuck together for the whole night." He grinned, revealing pointed teeth. She gaped at him.

"I refuse!" she snapped.

"Fine. 'You can freeze to death, for all I care,'" he imitated.

She grumbled, but curled up by a tree as far from him as possible. In a few seconds, she was shivering uncontrollably. Suigetsu stared at her, smiling.

"I really despise you, you know that?" she muttered, scooting over next to him.

"Yes, I do." He leaned on her, closing his eyes.

"Oi! Get off!" She tried to shove him away.

"Eh?" He opened one eye.

"You're impossible!" she exclaimed, smashing his face in (again). The water drenched her. "Oh-" What she said next cannot be printed because the authoress does not want to type about half a million swearwords. On with the story. Suigetsu rolled his eyes, used to it.

"You'll freeze for sure now!" he said gleefully.

"Thanks for the encouragement," she said, her bones already hurting from the cold.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'll keep you warm."

"Oh, no you don't!" She scurried backwards, but was forced to return as a blast of wind hit her.

"There, now. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He patted her head.

"Be quiet." She stared determinedly in the opposite direction. He leaned on her again and, grudgingly, she allowed him to stay, secretly glad for the warmth.

On the other side of the clearing, Sasuke smirked to himself.

_They finally stopped yelling,_ he thought, satisfied, suppressing a laugh as Suigetsu hugged Karin and she yelped, almost toppling over. With a contented sigh, he closed his eyes and slept, having some peace of mind at last.

**Mua ha ha! Sasuke gets to play matchmaker! ♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match… ♪ :3**

**Btw, I **_**DO NOT**_** encourage the burning of books. Books are the best thing ever invented. Other than manga and internet and a bunch of other things…**


	2. Grammar Wars

Book Burning

**Book Burning**

**Chapter 2: Grammar Wars**

**Well, everyone was telling me to continue. So I did. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. You know, who needs to know that anymore? NO ONE owns Naruto on FF. Unless they happen to be Kishimoto-sensei in disguise…**

Suigetsu flopped to the ground as Karin huffed impatiently at him.

"Hurry up, Suigetsu!" she growled. "Don't tell me you need water again!"

"Well, I do," he replied, unfazed as he drank. "What? I'm sure you need a drink once in a while too, bitch."

"Sure, once in a while. Not every two minutes!" she retorted, ignoring his insult.

"Six," he corrected with mock politeness.

"Oh, and that makes _so_ much of a difference."

"Of course. A whole, four minutes."

Sasuke leaned against a tree. What happened to the (almost) peace yesterday night?

"Agh! Sasuke," Karin whined, turning to Hebi's leader. "Make him move!" He rolled his eyes.

"You know how Suigetsu is. We'll just have to wait. And we need to stop by the next town to buy new coats," he added as an afterthought, eyeing the snow. Karin sighed and sat down on a convenient boulder.

After almost ten seconds, she started on Suigetsu again.

"Are you done yet?" she pestered.

"No. Me is not being done," he replied

"What?"

"See? The lack of water is rendering me incoherent," he explained, still drinking deeply.

"Be you faked, all us know," she retaliated. He raised his eyebrows.

"Is it being challenge I are sense?"

"Of course, baka."

"That are be bad not grammar."

"So?"

"That are being bad not grammar neither."

"Am yet you done?" Sasuke cut in exasperatedly. "I be wanted to reach next town today by."

The rest of the team stared at this display. He rolled his eyes.

"Well, how else be I supposing get their attention?"

"That is true," Juugo agreed, looking up from the bird in his hand.

"Fine, fine," Suigetsu sighed, strapping his water bottle back on his thigh. "Us are now go."

"Finally! Idiot is being responded!" Karin jumped up. Suigetsu followed suit, though much more slowly.

The going was painfully slug-paced. Suigetsu dragged his feet and Karin kept clicking her tongue every few seconds. Before they had been walking for three minutes, Sasuke was at his breaking point. The tongue-clicking and feet-shuffling was grating incessantly on his nerves.

"Is we being can rest now?" Suigetsu whined. Sasuke snapped, shoving Suigetsu forward as hard as he could, just as Karin turned to retort.

They crashed into each other, the weight of Suigetsu's sword pinning them to the ground. Before Sasuke could fully appreciate the damage he had done, Karin's screech nearly shattered all their eardrums.

Flinging Suigetsu off, she stalked away, wiping her mouth repeatedly on the back of her hand in disgust. The three males stared after her in a surprised silence as Juugo helped Suigetsu back to his feet. He blinked a few times, licking his lips thoughtfully.

"I never knew her lip gloss was strawberry flavored."

**HAH! I POSTED BEFORE HIM!! If he doesn't post by tomorrow, I'll murder him in French class...**


	3. INTERMISSION

**INTERMISSION: THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL STORY CHAPTER**

**Hey, everyone! I know I haven't updated this in AGES, but I promise to start working on it again. I'm actually not sure when, yet, due to FINALS. AUGH THE DREADED HORROR… But anyways…**

**I'm using this Intermission chapter to say thank you to everyone who reviewed and to say a few things to the anon. reviewers!**

**So… to all the registered users:**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING! **

**All the reviews and favs/alerts are much appreciated. :)**

**Whoever put this on a C2 community is also very much thanked. **

**Now for the anons!**

**hitsufangirl yeah whatever: Hi thar! (Continued because of YOU!!)**

**Mao: Thank you very much for your nice comment! Yes, Sasuke is EVIL… He's a secret matchmaker in disguise! GASP**

**charm: LOLZ. P Me is being loving bad grammar…**

**Miss Wheeze: Yes, isn't it?? Good for your mom! Best birthday presents books/gift cards for… books. I'm such a nerd.**

**Fiddleferneatsfish: Ah yes… Karin can be VERY dangerous when angry… By the way, (no offense or anything) are you sure you've got the right anime? Kazune is in Kamichama Karin, not Naruto. Unless there's a Kazune in Naruto that I was not aware of. Which is completely possible. :)**

**Awful Pizza Sauce: Thank you! Um… Suigetsu is the shark guy with the white hair and purple shirt and gigantic beheading sword that was once Zabuza's and he turns into water and likes resting a lot and gets dehydrated easily and… uh… yeah. That's about it. And he's on Sasuke's team with Karin and Juugo. **

**Fried Octopus Tentacles: Thank you! (Wow I'm **_**so**_** creative with opening sentences…) Oh "him?" Well… he's a very stubborn guy who won't post any fanfiction no matter how much I bug him!! DX That's all.**


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